Chump Holocaust

neopets memory: back when the fan clubs chat was (for whatever fucking reason) the neopets dating capital of the forums, everyone was trying really really hard to get their lupe a boyfriend or girlfriend (b/f or g/f, try to keep up). there were a lot of weird, unwritten rules, like how it was expected that your neopet only date within their own species, and painted pets only dated other painted pets (because who wants to be seen in public with some basic-colored plebian). on the other hand, no one cared about names then like they do now, you could still be king shit with x0x_IcY_fLaMe_x0x as long as it was a fuckin fire lupe.

not sure why, that’s just the way things worked out in the bad old days

but that was the norm. of course there would be someone to come along and shake up the status quo. not yours truly, of course, because i was 12 years old and still thought that KoRn was a really good band, so obviously i’m not going to be the protagonist in this tale.

no, it was a user by the name of bleeding_vein (i still remember this) who came in looking for a g/f for her purple acara. but there was a twist: the acara was also a girl. “looking for a g/f for my acara she is lez,” claimed resident mover and shaker, bleeding_vein.

the fan clubs reacted as rationally as you would expect a gaggle of 12 year olds to react, which is to say the fucking exploded in a flurry of “EW GROSS” and similar sentiments. being the lurker that i was, i refrained from saying anything at the time, but i do recall being rather taken aback.

bleeding_vein was not deterred by the overwhelmingly negative feedback she was receiving. she helpfully informed everyone that her acara was purple, because purple was the color of gay people. this, of course, only further enraged the throbbing mob of pre-teen girls.

now, this was a time in the FC’s history where the board was more or less wildly unmoderated. i can think of no other explaination for how so many “LUPE MATING SEASON” boards went unchecked. but this, this lesbian acara fiasco, was enough to snap the moderators to attention. the board was purged, the user was frozen, and the acara died without ever meeting the neolady of her dreams.

rest in peace, bleeding_vein and lesbian acara whose name i have not committed to memory

you were both ahead of your time